Longings of a mother’s heart….

 

Not a day goes by when I don't think of her; when I don't wonder how she's doing or where she is,

 

and there are times when I miss her so much that I'd give anything to go back in time, back when she was little and all was well and good.

 

But instead, I find myself longing to hug her, to feel her in my arms, where, in that moment, she'd simply be my girl, and I, her mom.

 

For a brief moment there'd be no history between us, no sadness or loss; I could pretend she was my little girl once again, and in her eyes, I'd be her wonderful mom.

 

 

Sadly enough, the reality is that there's no sweetness between us now; only brokenness and heartache, and so much loss.

 

I've always thought that the bond between a mother and child would be strong enough to endure any trial; that the bond would be something no one or no thing could sever…

 

 

And yet, here I am, shut out and cut off; left with an emptiness and a longing that nothing seems to fill.

 

I have my other babies, of course, and I love them with all my heart,

 

 

yet nothing can replace a child lost, wether the child left on her own or with no choice.

 

 

And so, once again, I give her to God; I trust Him to take care of her and give her what I never could.

 

I give Him my worry and my fear, the guilt and the pain, and I believe that one day our relationship He will restore.

 

 

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7 Responses to “Longings of a mother’s heart….”

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  1. Barbie says:

    Oh Patty, I cannot imagine what you are going through. I am whispering a prayer for you right now, asking God to comfort you and reach your daughter right where she is with His enduring love. Hugs!
    Barbie recently posted…Five Minute Friday: FlyMy Profile

  2. ShesWrite says:

    Oh Patty, big hugs to you girl. My sister went through a period where she was lost, she struggled with addiction, we didn’t hear from her for weeks, months, sometimes nearly a year, but she’s clean and back in our lives now. As you know, everyone has their own journey.
    ShesWrite recently posted…A Night At The Moth in PortlandMy Profile

  3. Rosemary says:

    I cannot imagine the pain you’re going through since my two little ones are still really little. I hope and pray this hurt between you and your daughter resolves it’s self soon.
    Rosemary recently posted…Josh Groban in the Round {Autographed CD Giveaway}My Profile

    • Patty says:

      Rosemary, thank you so much for visiting my blog and for your compassionate words of encouragement. Have a blessed weekend!

  4. Nicki Lewis says:

    Fantastic pictures
    Nicki Lewis recently posted…Five on Friday #4My Profile

  5. Mary Hill says:

    Hi, I pray for reconcilliation and healing. I also pray, selfishly, that my own daughter and I will never know this pain. I am so sorry for yours. thank you for your bravery in sharing.
    Mary Hill recently posted…A Southern December Winter MorningMy Profile

    • Patty says:

      Mary, thank you so much for your kind words and for your prayers. I too, pray that you and your daughter never know the pain that we’ve endured in the past 2 years. God is faithful and He knows what’s best, even when we don’t understand. Have a blessed weekend with your family. Love, patty

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