Defined by grace

 

For days now, my mind has been racing; thoughts flitting around and filling my head with noise….

 

Sometimes, I feel as though the noise in my head is louder than the noise in my home, and that's saying a lot in a home with 4 lovely loud children.

 

The thoughts are coming and going so fast that I feel like I'm going in circles, finding no end.

 

I keep finding myself looking back and thinking that I should've “done this” or should've “prevented that”, and I drive myself crazy wishing that I could go back in time; yet knowing that what's done is done.


I beat myself up as I replay the unfounded accusations that have been hurled at me in the past two months, and I second guess wether or not the unpleasant descriptions of me are actually true.


I find myself wondering if I'm fit to be a mom, and wether or not it really is my fault that my oldest is the way she is.


I replay those accusations like a movie on rewind, over and over again, and I ask God, “why, oh why, was I never good enough for her?”

 

I look back to seasons past, and wish that I'd done more, been more, or just simply been good enough.

 

I can find myself falling farther and farther into this pit of loss and despair, that I sometimes can't find my way out.

 

Thankfully, I have a loving Heavenly Father, who refuses to let me stay in this pit, and He's always there to pull me out.

 

And by His amazing grace, I've found myself surrounded by sermons and friends who have been reminding me of who I am in Him.

 

 

I've been pointed to the cross of Jesus, where his blood was shed for me, and where by His righteousness, I have been saved.

 

It's been helpful for me to be reminded that I'm not defined by what others say, nor am I defined by what I've done or who I've been….

 

I have to remind myself daily–sometimes hourly–that I am saved by grace, and because of what Jesus has done for me, I am righteous, and I am defined by Him and his great love.

 

 

 

 photo 23C540338225562D41F18967E111BD7D_zps978d3068.png

6 Responses to “Defined by grace”

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  1. Barbie says:

    Oh Patty, my heart breaks for you. I am praying that God will fill your heart and mind with His truth. You are loved, you are cherished, you are good enough. You are His! Hugs!
    Barbie recently posted…Featured Friend: Naomi @ What Joy Is MineMy Profile

  2. Elizabeth says:

    We all need grace. Thank you for the reminder and the beautiful pictures. It was a peaceful feeling reading your post. Happy Tuesday! Blessings.
    Elizabeth recently posted…Strawberry Dream CakeMy Profile

  3. Paula Parker says:

    Beautiful message and photos! I am glad I am not the only one whose head is filled with regrets, would of, should of, etc. Thank you for reminding me of the solution.

  4. What a great reminder! I needed to hear this. Thanks for sharing!
    Jenna @ A Savory Feast recently posted…Cilantro Steak SauceMy Profile

  5. Krystal says:

    I understand. My mother use to tell me not to worry about the shoulda, coulda, woulda’s. Those will get you down.
    Krystal recently posted…Monday Morning Mommy {M3}: My Toddle To Go BagMy Profile

  6. Erica Manoz says:

    Hugs! It’s really liberating when we can grasp our identity in Christ and really understand what His grace means :)
    Erica Manoz recently posted…#BoutOfBooks10 YES! and GoalsMy Profile

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