Well, today marks Day 1 of my second round of Whole 30. My friend and I were planning to starts this past Tuesday, but neither one of us had enough food in the house and weren’t prepared, so we decided to officially start today.
and I’m hungry. Very hungry.
this time around, I am breaking the rules a bit and I’m counting calories. Shhhh, don’t tell!
seriously though, the reason I’m counting calories is because though I’ll be eating healthy, whole foods these next 30 days, I want to make sure that I’m still staying within my healthy calorie range.
and it may or may not have something to do with the fact that I’ve gained 5 pounds. Uh, huh, I know. And it’s so irritating, because things aren’t fitting the same and I feel gross.
So not only do I hope to kill the sugar dragon once and for all, but I also hope to drop those pesky five pounds!
it’s scary the hold that food really can have on us. You know? Do you ever imagine going without a favorite food and then find yourself having an internal freak-out session?
yeah, well that’s how I am with sugar. Seriously.
i have had times when I’ve actually planned out how and when I’m going to get my next Starbucks frapp or McDonalds Coke. Don’t laugh, I’ve really done this!
and leading up to this Whole 30, I struggled A LOT with the idea of not having sugar for thirty days. And quite honestly, it’s actually an emotional struggle as well.
so I woke up this morning, and the first thing I thought of was how I could push this W30 off and start Monday. You know, the old procrastination method of “I’ll just start fresh on Monday”? Yeah, I know that one quite well, I’m afraid.
and in my mind, buy waiting until Monday, I could then have a McDonalds Coke today, and maybe some chocolate. And maybe some almond mocha swirl ice cream…..you see where this is going, right?
i’m happy to say that I didn’t indulge that fantasy, and I have been eating well all day. Except I’m hungry. *sigh*
i will admit, the one thing that has kept me from backing out today is my kids. They know I was planning to start today, and they saw my bin with “Mom’s food” in the frig.
they have also seen me start eating healthy, only to fall totally off the band wagon and start eating poorly again. And they know the negative affects that type of eating has on me, and yet, I do it anyway.
Seeing this pattern has really been bothering me, and I’ve come to realize that I want to set a good example for my kids. I want to take care of myself, so that I’m able to take care of them, and so that they’ll see the importance of taking care of themselves.
the fact that I will actually plan out my next sugar fix was a good indication to me that sugar has become an idol in my life, and that I’ve allowed it to have a stronghold on me.
and you know what? I don’t want to be controlled by sugar. And I don’t want to desire anything more than I desire God.
A while back, I bought Lysa Terkhursts book, Made to Crave, and just in the first chapter alone, I was convicted and encouraged! As Lysa shared her own struggle with food, I felt as though she was reading my mind and sharing my own struggles and thoughts.
For some reason, I started the book and then got away from it. I’ve decided that I’m going to get back to reading it, and I figure now is as good a time as any.
I know that I’m not alone in this struggle with food, and I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to share in the comments and hopefully we can encourage one another along the way.